i am not going to start by giving u some bio of my life by putting my life up till now into some important and barely relevant moments that i have to paragragh, ill state moments from my past as nessary so u wont be so confused.

so like a virgin ill start this for the 1st time......

the first day...today


reaching the end of yet another crappy school mistake and in search of one that is a better fix, i lost myself. ive been reclaiming the past as new and confusing ex's as boyfriends and been mostley confused. i have been silent and lonely due to my own actions of sacluesion from those that give me stabilty because i crave change. i crave something new, and adventure of some importance, i am still waiting on that "these r the best days of our life" crap...life is literally what u make it...and i can say that all i want but that alone wont make my days better. i need to not care about everything so much, less stress is better...i dun care about u.....or how u feel about me......for once it is really about the inner me....thats selvish but intill i like/love myself then and only then can i consider caring. do u notice the less u look for happiness in others the more others look for happiness in u? think about it.

today was day 1 of being brutally honest and saying literally wat i think and only showing respect from ppl that truely deserve it .ive spent weeks almost months trying to love and be accepted and caring and NEEDING u to love me bc i needed u to make happy...and this whole time ive been misreable and totally on my own. today was day one...stopped caring and instantley ppl come to me. i had one of those movie days...where u watch a movie thats a lil off but incrediabley interesting and almost changes u before the credits role...that final scene that brings everything together was my today....but instead of the end .....it was the beggining....

this is going to be fun