Dear R,

I know everything is screwed up for you at the moment. Inside. I know that feeling. I understand the feeling of feeling so helpless and unable to help one’s self despite the opportunities being there. I’ve being there. I still get like that sometimes. I just wish I could make everything better. I wish I could you and let you cry and tell you everything will be okay because when I was with you, holding your hand, somehow I felt things would be alright. I wish things could go back to the way they were. I was so content most of the time. I…ache for you sometimes. I thought I was getting better but then after we made love all the feelings I’ve suppressed since you didn’t want me anymore came rushing back. I know how pathetic I am for liking you. I should hate you for how you spent the majority of our relationship obsessing over another girl’s journal and then dating her within a month of us breaking up. But I don’t. I’m stupid and blind.

I would of gone to japan with you. I thought that was going to be my happy ending. Apparently not.

Love,

S

Dear Mom,

I'm 18, but I'm not an adult. I can act like one, I guess, be independent and do things and all that, but if I had a choice I would never do anything alone.

So, thanks for letting me still be a kid around you. Thank you for driving us to the library, supermarket, wherever. Thanks for letting me sleep on the same bed as you sometimes. Thanks for being there to give me your opinion whenever I need it. Thanks for never wanting me to grow up. I love you.

Dear sleepy,
As I sit on the couch, i think to myself... I think I really want t have kids now, and maybe just maybe I could do it with you. Its far too early to tell. But what can I say? I think it would be nice.

Sincerely,
Me

Looking for new friends~

A lot of my friends are now inactive on Livejournal. It's super depressing. Hmm. What am I looking for in an LJ-friend? I don't know:

-Hopefully, we have a few things in common (see interests in profile) and we're around the same age (how about we say between 16-22).

-I'd also prefer that my new LJ friends are somewhat educated. I'm so tired of morons. Haha.

-Update/comment frequently, please? I like reading and commenting on entries. Kind of expect the same.

-I prefer individuals who do not write about sex, violence, or drugs. I don't mind people who swear, but when entries are LITTERED with choice words, they're fucking unreadable.

A bit about me? Well, I'm sort of boring. I play it safe, play by the rules. I am a student (perhaps for the rest of my life) and I write a lot about school. Also write about my family, my bad habits, and my uninteresting hobbies. I'm a nice person though! Hopefully most of you guys are too.

Don't be shy.

Today I've finished another square still life with frontal view from above.
Quite tempting thing for me to paint :)



Still life with sugar cubes.
Oil on canvas, 60x60 cm., 2009.

Ealier in this series: "Still life with Chronos" и "Still life with stripy tablecloth".

My painting catalogue: http://rubenm.spb.ru

Dear Y, Thank you so much for helping me with my little stunt yesterday. The ideas, the advice, the cues and timing, the little nudge... T'was epic. T'was all epic.  And thanks to you, I know what it feels like to give a special someone a gift. I tell you, it feels awesome. It somewhat impairs the ability to focus, but it feels awesome. Now, I need help with expressing my gratitude to you. Thank you again! Love, That friend who had no gift ideas Dear E, Glad to know that you liked the little paperweight-dish-plaster of paris thing that I made for you. (Your happiness completed the night and made the rest of this school year for me. <3) Season's greetings! Love, She Who Wears Retainers Dear I, So the resident Dance Dance Revolution master has been bullying you since first grade (as you claim)? Why don't you just ignore the guy? If you answer back to anything he says with an angry and serious voice, he'll turn it into a debate. And the guy loves debates. Um... love (?), That one person who calmly brushes off all the E-related questions P.S. When he said "All the prizes should be ours!", he was probably joking. He may be sharp-tongued and mean (to you at least), but he's not selfish. Really, he isn't. Dear Math teacher, :D (Though I'd also like a passing grade in Algebra for Christmas, but whatever. :P) If you'll really get me a present, Sir, please do not give it to me in class. The section monitor will kill me six ways from Sunday with her monitor's folder, and rumors will spontaneously arise like mushrooms after a thunderstorm (or something). A bit worried that you'll get her a goldfish, The student with an unfortunately half-empty test paper

Katie, I hope you have fun in Disney. I honestly think you and your parents are off your rocker flying there for Christmas, but you know, whatever floats your boat. Talk to you next year.  I don't like saying that. That's weird. Love, Your best friend ********* Brandon, Still keeping tabs? I promised you a dozen cookies, a candy cane, and...? A kiss? Dream on, lover boy.  Yours,  Your summer fling ********** Dear Senior All-Shore Band Auditions, Your music is easy and I don't find you scary anymore. I eat auditions like you for breakfast! I shook off all of those butterflies. I'm ready.   Can't wait to see you in January.  Sincerely, A very relaxed trumpet player

Why does it feel like you hate me? I haven't done anything for you to hate me. Yeah, we owe you fifty bucks but you said it's not a big deal and you don't mind waiting. Plus, you don't act like you hate her and she's the one who asked you for the loan in the first place... Not me.
I wish that you'd respond when I spoke to you, I wish that you'd make eye contact with me every once in a while, I wish that you appreciated the fact that I desperately want to help you build your business.

Dear Herbert West,

You are REALLY hot.

Love,
N